Respect people to earn respect

Friends

I am back with some new thoughts. Again this one is meant to address some challanges that we face at the workplace in specific & life in general.
Often we seek attention, respect, appreciation & recogniotion from people.
We feel good if people recognize us. We feel better if they actually come & say hello. We feel on the top of the world if they appreciate us in public. Right?
We often complain of being ignored, not being appreciated, not being recognized, not getting a fulfilment, respect & reward from what we do at home or office.
Why does this happen?
How many times do we honestly try to admire other people...specially in the peer group?
We often tend to ignore one very simple thing, "every one has his own traits - some good ones - where we have a scope to learn...& this person deserves a respect for the same".
Often I have seen that we create a sham around us restricting overselves from this exposure. Why does this happen?
Because we feel ourselves superior to others? we feel they do not even deserve a pat of appreciation from us? Or does this feeling comes out of a sense of insecurity within ourselves?
I will explain this with an example.
In the earlier years of my career a colleague of mine used to get very much irretated because of a steno. The poor fellow was a tribal from North east India & had a natural challange for accent of spoken Hindi or English.
This colleague of mine often used to make mockery out of his accent, body language etc. He would scold him for petty things. Unfortunately I do not have a happy ending to state for this story since I did not have the courage or enlightment to confront this friend of mine on this issue.
Then one good day something happened which forced me to revisit my approach towards life. I was handling a complex assignment with a tight deadline. Not to say, I was under some real pressure having already spent a couple of sleepless nights working more than 16 hours a day. To make the things worst, I was to compile a detailed report running into more than hundred pages, with several annexures. This report was to be presented to my director next morning for his review. The worst part was that the annexures were to be reconciled & compiled from various annexures sent by different branch offices.
It was already 6 p.m. I was still coordinating with branches for the complete data. I was hassled, tensed, panicky, irritated & feeling really feeling sucked up....
Most of my colleagues had packed off for the day & I knew after a while I will be left alone the fight this battle....
Then, from some where, this steno appeared. He offerred himself for help. I new I needed help, but was not sure if he was the right person. I believe he understood what was going in my mind. He simply came forward & requested me to move to an adjacent table. His firmness & confidence pushed me to follow the instructions. He quitely rearranged my table, gathering all the relevant papers at one place.
"Sir, now please tell me how would you like to arrange these papers..." he asked me.
I explained him the structure. I asked him, "will you be able to do it?" He smiled & said.."Yes!"
I could feel waves of all types of emotions - excitement, relief & joy flowing in my heart.
For a few seconds, I watched him.
He looked at me - "sir I will manage this, you focus on the follow up.... "
After a while he was ready with the set. He had compiled the documents very neatly & logically. He asked me to review the set. As I started going through the papers, he sat beside me with a paper & pen & said, "please do keep telling me wherever the information is missing & I will write it down. We will make a list for follow up".
With in the next few minutes, we had the checklist ready. We were able to complete a focussed follow up & with in the next couple of hours, I was ready with the report. I saw the watch, it was 11 p.m.! The sense of accomplishment made me tired & I was about to retire for the day.
As I decided to close the shop, he again appeared with a suggestion,
"Sir, let us spend a few minutes & complete the final compilation...tomorrow, boss will need it in the first hour. I will help you out"
He not only helped me in arranging the papers, but also guided me how to index the annexures, code them & file them. He did all this with such fine craftsman ship & detailing (for example, he taught me how to stapple a huge bunch of papers to ensure a better visibility!) that it became a first hand coaching which I cherish even today!
We completed the job & left the office together. On our way back, I had some conversation about his family, background, native village & life there. He was earning less than half of what I was getting & was supporting a family of nine( & he was still a bachlor). Still he was content, very satisfied with his life.
Friends, I got a lot of appreciation for the good job this man had done for me. I could not return him the thanks since he had left the job & that was his last day in the office. I always remeber him for he taught me a lesson of life....
"Every one has his own traits & offers an opprtunity to anyone to learn something from him. It is on you how & how much you are willing to learn. But before that, you need to trust him, respect him. This trust & respect will brake the sham & will give you an insight into his traits. You have to give him the respect he deserves. Respect can be given or earned. Given respect comes from authority & going away with it. A respect which is earned remains for ever....
Let us all try to earn respect. This is possible if we respect people. Let us give it a try atleast...."

Cheers!

Arun